i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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