I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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