Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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