I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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