just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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