WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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