I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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