Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize