I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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