fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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