woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize