Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
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He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
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This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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