making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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