It's Friday. Sex?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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