Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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