Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize