med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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