she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize