There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize