I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize