I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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