making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
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headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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