no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
it's like heaven, but drunker
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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