three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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