Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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