I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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