He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize