Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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