jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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