seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize