I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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