I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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