Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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