loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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