remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize