"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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