maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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