On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize