I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
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Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
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I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
When are your genitals available?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize