obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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