The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I deserve this hangover.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize