Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize