Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Sext me about skeletons
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize