It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
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I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
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We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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