do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize