She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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