Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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