I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize