I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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