I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize