I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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